Let me start by saying, ask for help. If you’re lost, hurting, depressed, sad, angry, full of rage, whatever, ask for help. It’s something I’m learning I need to do more often.

If you’ve read my other posts then you’ll know that I am coming out of a pretty bumpy road in life and not in the greatest situation at the moment. At one point my spending got out of control and I was not keeping an eye on what was getting paid and what wasn’t. As such, I ended up in a very bad place. Landlord was threatening to evict and my usual hustle was not working.

I’m not precious. I have been through hard times but I’ve always been able to hustle and get my basics met. And by hustle I mean pick up a job here or there when I need to. I am from a big family and they know so many people all it took was a word to let people know I needed and someone came through with a job. If it wasn’t that then I could borrow from family or friends until payday.

It’s different being in London. There is no family. There are no connections I haven’t made and people here don’t necessarily move like we do in NY. It is easy to pick up a second job without waiting weeks. It’s simple to get in places when you know people but hard when you don’t. So with the threat of eviction and no way to hustle quickly for the money I had to ask for help from home and it was HARD.

I’ve asked for help before but it was always something small, not a couple of months’ rent with a crazy exchange rate. Mom is retired and I have this issue about not being a burden to people. I have been reassured on multiple occasions that friends and family don’t view me that way but I’m used to being the person people come to for help. So, I know when they’re going through things. I don’t want to add to that. It makes me feel horrible to even think I might be which is why I usually keep everything to myself. I do what I have to get things done.

Asking for help was hard. But it was definitely a wake-up call. What it said was, you cannot do it all alone forever. What my family said was “don’t ever wait so long before asking for help.” I found out that in my withdrawal, in my isolation there were people who wanted to reach out. I found out that there were people who understood me in ways I wasn’t even aware of. I found out that I had surrounded myself with people who didn’t fall into that category, that weren’t even interested. I had friends but saddled myself up to acquaintances.

No matter what anyone tells you, who is in your circle matters and have an effect on you.

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