“Make no mistake about it – enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretence. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.” ~ Adyashanti

In the last post I talked about why I agree with this statement. There is a part with which I disagree. “It has nothing to do with becoming better or happier.” I agree/disagree. The process is not becoming better or happier but I believe returning to our natural state, being spirit led will make you happier and better. I think you become happier because you’re no longer fighting against your nature. You are no longer wandering trying to figure out your purpose. Your life can be as it is meant to be, your ego (experiences, defences, etc.) in service to your spirit (that part of God/the source which it has instilled in you). The wondering goes. It’s not that you’re no longer curious about the world. It is not that you know everything. It is not that you have all the answers. It is that you know it will all come as it is needed to help you along.

In Kung Fu Panda 3, the antagonist wanted all the power (or qi/chi). Once he got it, he just screamed about how it was too much and it ultimately destroyed him. God gives us what we need to know to fulfil whatever duty or purpose which brought us here but I don’t believe we get every piece of the puzzle all at once. We get it as we need it.

I admit I struggle with this. I struggle because I want it when I feel ready for it. I’ve never been good with the in between time. That time between when what was has dissipated and waiting for the next step is agony for me. I am a New Yorker, we move no matter what. Sitting still, waiting has never been a strong point and I know definitively that patience is one of my lessons here. I am working on it though. Every day, I am trying to meditate, trying to avoid making emotional decisions because I’m done being stuck in environments that are stifling. It is not easy when you’re used to things happening right on time.

I believe we become better in dealing with, loving the world around us – after the initial adjustment period. I can tell you I have gone from wanting to take a mallet to everything around me to wanting to cry it all out and move on. But I trust that once it’s all gone – the old conditioning, the pain, the resentment, the anger, the hurt, the upset – and I have had time to assimilate the lessons I’ve learned. I will get better at loving the world around. I will get to go back to being able to see the potential in others. I will get to go back to being the unrelenting optimist. [I lost this for a while along with a bit of myself. It is painful to even think about what I had to go through to realise it. But I miss her and slowly but surely she’s coming back. I smile when I feel her.]