“Make no mistake about it – enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.” ~ Adyashanti

I’m pretty sure I wish someone would have told me this before I embarked upon this journey but I completely understand and agree.

I don’t know how they are defining enlightenment here but for me it is about moving away from the world view of the world and everything in it to seeing the world through God’s eyes – with love. What makes this process so destructive is that it means tearing away all the years of “experience”, trauma, drama, conditioning, lies, ego (the culmination of all stated), pain, upset. It is stripping away any and everything that does not serve your spirit and that which takes you away from the service of others. It is essentially emptying the vessel so it can be filled by something better, something of a higher vibration, something pure. It is emptying the self of ego so spirit can step in and fill the space.

A lot is lost in this process. Many will not understand what you’re going through. I can honestly say there are times I had no idea why I was feeling something. There are times when I am meditating that old thoughts or situations will return to the forefront. A year ago, I wouldn’t have known what to do with all this. Now, I see it, acknowledge it and let it go. I believe what is happening is – where I’ve repressed quite a bit, shoving it all to the side so I can just keeping moving no matter what – when I free my mind, when I clear it, all these things come up to say “hey, remember me.” They were previously filed under “to be dealt with later” though there was no timeframe set.

Enlightenment, spirituality, coming to God, whatever you want to call it, I believe it is especially difficult for those who have suppressed years of anything. Not only is it the stripping away of all the things which are consciously keeping you from your purpose, it then delves into the subconscious, all the things you’ve forgotten or repressed bringing it all back to the surface. Man, I can tell you that it is tough. Moments I never wanted to remember were suddenly in my mind’s eye. Feelings I never wanted to deal with were pushing beneath my skin. But this process is a learning one if you choose for it to be. Or it could be one that pulls you under and into a life of extreme repression. I choose to learn because I want to be better. 

I’ve learned when the memories come to let them go. Actually, it isn’t so much the memory as it is the emotional attachment to the memory or the re-feeling of the emotion from when it happened. I learned a nifty little trick from one of these meditation gurus. Her name is Christie Marie Sheldon. She uses the trick for something else, but me being me, I take things I like, leave what I don’t and adapt them to meet my needs. She says “I clear, cancel, delete and transmute.” I use this with my memories. When they come I say “I clear, cancel, delete and transmute all feelings attached to this memory as it no longer serves me and turn the situation over to God.” I remember the first time I did this but for the life of me I can’t remember what the memory was. I choose to take it as proof that this works for me.

Overall, it helps to remember that destruction is also creation. Once you’ve destroyed the old, the new can come into being. Or in the case of enlightenment and spirituality, once you’ve destroyed the ego, the spirit can lead.