I went on holiday recently. As a matter of fact, I just came back on a few days ago. So much to say. There are things, things you just have to accept. It is difficult, I can tell you that. But I always believe if you’re called to do something, no matter how much it may hurt to do, you always end up better for obeying. My dad always says, obedience it better than sacrifice.
While I was on holiday it came to me that it was time to end a relationship, a friendship to be more accurate. It isn’t something that’s new to me. I’m the kind of person, when I get the intuition that a relationship isn’t good for me I let go easily. But this friendship is not a new one. And it’s not one that is fading. It’s easy to let go of those friendships that just aren’t what they used to be. It isn’t exactly on a high, but it isn’t contentious. If I’m honest with myself and take the blinders off, it’s been coming for a while. It is only recently though that I have been free enough to acknowledge and accept it. Wow, that was difficult to admit. Even when it came to me that it was ending, the first thing I thought was “well, maybe if we just took a break and did our own things for a while I can salvage it,” but no. I need to allow my axis to shift and put me in the position God needs me in.
I also released a lot as well. All these random memories, nothing related to what I’m going through right now, were coming up. I usually over analyze and overthink things to death but after having listened to people like Christie Marie Sheldon and Doreen Virtue talk about releasing the old to make room for the new, my mantra became “I clear, cancel, delete and transmute all the feelings attached to that memory. I release that memory.” And it worked. Once I said it (in my head, not out loud although I’m sure that would work too) I no longer felt attached to it. It no longer made me cringe to think about. I can’t even recall some of the things that came up for. It’s all gone.
I thought a lot about my future and connected to it; seeing what I need to do now, to make that happen. It’s not as much as you might think. In some respects it’s just about actively spending more time with God and hearing His guidance and direction. In other respects, there are some concrete actions that I need to take. All in all, it felt like an amazing step on my journey. Being away gave me an opportunity to put these tools – meditation, releasing old “stuff” – into action.